I’m not a normal tourist. (I’m not a normal ANYTHING, but humor me here.) Most tourists bring home souvenirs from their travels. Not me. I normally just take pictures and blog about my experiences. I haven’t purchased a souvenir since I got that “South Dakota Turd Burd” when I was in seventh grade. I did some math recently and realized that, had I continued my education, I would currently be in 43^rd grade. And thus I decided it was past time to buy another souvenir – to be a more “normal” tourist. So, on my recent trip to Florida, I bought an alligator.

Many years ago, cartoons taught me that alligators make good suitcases. Apparently, the folks at Spirit Airlines don’t watch enough cartoons, because they wouldn’t accept a live alligator as a checked bag. So the gator had to fly standby. Fortunately, there were only a few people ahead of him on the standby list, so he was able to eat them all and get a seat on my flight. Now I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this, but reptiles aren’t built like mammals. An alligator can’t tuck its tail between its legs like a dog can. It is, I quickly discovered, physically impossible for an alligator to sit upright. So he had to eat a few more people to create the space he needed to sprawl out.

When I got home, I put my new souvenir in the pond behind my house. He seems to be happy with his new home. He gets all the Canada geese and little yappy dogs he can eat. Best souvenir ever!