Enjoy some new fiction (© 2022 by Cedric Williams) :

Elvin was awake before Dawn. This was not surprising since Dawn had taken a horse tranquilizer before hitting the hay. In any event (except the Volkswagen Sign Then Drive Event), Elvin was grateful for the opportunity to load up the Microbus and hit the road without Dawn’s interference. You see, Dawn disapproved of the Grand Experiment, though she clearly understood how much of his heart and spleen Elvin had put into it. She saw nothing wrong with the Grand Experiment itself, as designed. But she knew Elvin, and she was certain he would screw it up somehow. It was simply too big a job for a run-of-the-mill ham salad chef like Elvin.

“I’ll show her,” Elvin mumbled to himself as he parked the Microbus in front of the Denver Coliseum. “I’ll show ’em all. I’ll show ’em all my toenail fungus, and it’ll make ’em PUKE!”

Elvin proceeded to unload his Volkswagen Microbus in preparation for the crowd that would be arriving in a few hours. The Denver Coliseum was to host a concert that night, by the band known as Korn. The opening act was peas. Not a band called Peas; just a freakin’ can of peas. Phase One of the Grand Experiment called for Elvin to distribute uncontrolled substances to curious concertgoers. He was just about to begin doing so, when a police officer walked up and scrutinized Elvin’s carefully arranged display.

“So,” said the cop, “what have we here?”

“A simple vending kiosk, sir,” Elvin replied. “I sell substances to consumers.”

“Well it looks dangerous to me,” the officer opined. “It looks to me like your substances are completely out of control. I’m giving you 10 minutes to corral those suckers.” With that, the officer walked away from the Microbus, and headed for a nearby Korn dog stand.

Elvin gently cooed to the substances for several minutes, gradually calming them, until at last their behavior was under control. So when the police officer returned, Elvin was immediately and very predictably arrested on a charge of “possession of controlled substances”.

End of Part One

(click here for part two)