© 2022 by Cedric Williams

(for part one of this story, click here)

With the failure of the Grand Experiment came the failure of Elvin’s heart and spleen, and thus his untimely demise. He was survived by his wife Dawn and their five-month-old Young’n. That’s right. They named their son Young’n. Soon after Elvin’s death, Dawn was offered a job as floor manager at a major cotton canning plant. With the demand for canned cotton at an all-time high, this opportunity was not to be missed. Eager to put the past behind her, Dawn loaded Young’n into the Microbus, and they moved to whatever state the cotton canning plant was in. Dawn would never again set foot in Colorado.

Young’n grew up knowing very little about his father. Dawn had always disapproved of Elvin’s involvement with the Grand Experiment. Now her biggest fear was that Young’n would follow in Elvin’s foot steps, ending up heartbroken and spleenless like his father before him. Dawn figured that Young’n would be unable to follow in his father’s foot steps if he knew nothing about the man. So she told Young’n his father’s name, and nothing else.

Then, on a beautiful Thursday afternoon one September, Al Gore invented the internet. Young’n instantly recognized the potential of this new technology. As soon as he obtained connectivity, he Googled “Elvin Q. Flatulence”. To his amazement, Wikipedia had an extensive article about his father. Young’n read with fascination about the Grand Experiment and, ultimately, his father’s untimely demise. But even with this new knowledge, he still felt an emptiness, an emptiness that he knew could only be filled by experiencing the homeland of his ancestors. But he was only four years old, and he knew his Mommy wouldn’t take him. So he waited…for several years…. Finally, when he reached crack-smoking age, he embarked upon a pilgrimage to the Denver Coliseum.

“All I want is justice,” he said to anyone who’d listen. “Justice and/or revenge! Well all right, I want justice, revenge, and a Korn dog.” But let us never speak of the Korn dog again.

On the night Young’n arrived in Denver, the Coliseum was to host a concert by a new band known as Karrot. The opening act was the same freakin’ can of peas that had opened for Korn so many years prior. Young’n decided to start by taking a moment to adjust to the crisp Colorado air, so he simply parked his rump on the Coliseum’s front steps. Unfortunately, a passing police officer somehow mistook Young’n’s rump for the new Volkswagen Rump, and Young’n was immediately impounded under the No VW Zone law. Sadly, the shock of being confined to an impound lot caused his heart and spleen to fail, resulting in his untimely demise.