© 2022 by Cedric Williams
Is there a featherweight division in sumo wrestling? Why aren't fishermen called "hookers"? I sincerely hope there's a sports team called the Walla Walla Wall-eyed Bass. Clams are the Muppets of the sea. If I ever encounter a mountain lion, it'll scare me so bad I'll puma pants! Farts are the ghosts of things we have eaten.
During the spring of 2013, I accepted a job offer that required me to move from Colorado to Charlotte, North Carolina by the end of that year. Knowing that my time in Colorado was limited, and feeling excited about my still-new Good Camera, I proceeded … Continue reading Gilman, Colorado (Spring 2013)
A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was getting a referral to work with a speech pathologist. Now that I’ve had a few sessions with the nice speech lady, I’d like to let y’all in on the process.
Since the problem this time is with my vocal chords and not my pronunciation, the sessions are not just practice talking, as I had assumed. Nope, it’s singing. Not even lyrics. I just open up and say ahhh, but at varying pitches. It kind of reminds me of my favorite part of the Iron Maiden song, “Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter”. Which is funny because you’d think it would remind me of the Poison album, Open Up and Say Ahhh! But clearly it doesn’t.
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So I’m supposed to practice singing these various drawn-out notes to keep my vocal chords loose, and I’m supposed to read several short sentences aloud to practice speaking from the diaphragm. Bear is used to ignoring my talking / singing around the house, so he was only mildly interested in these new vocalizations. I might try changing some of the ahhh’s and eeee’s to oooh’s, to see if I can get him howling. Oh, and by the way, the nice speech lady says I’m doing great – and I agree. I definitely sound better than I did a couple months ago.
Random Observation: You can’t spell hospitality without spit!
Yuck, it’s all sticky! I don’t know, just get rid of it. Wait a minute, I think this conversation is being blogged. Dammit, it is! Stupid dictation software! Official Greetings! Welcome to this week’s ThrowBack Thursday! This week’s episode (and believe me, I’ve had plenty … Continue reading Colorado Hodgepodge (Spring 2013)
Yesterday was National Vinyl Record Day! Since it fell on a Friday, I decided to celebrate it as a Vinyl Record Weekend. I’m listening to an Amboy Dukes record right now. I’m also listening to my dog. He keeps saying the same thing:
“Bark! And you can quote me on that.” – Bear Acuda Williams
Wait, now he’s speaking in haiku:
I can sure bark, sir!
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
Yep, I can sure bark!
I didn’t say it was good haiku. Anywho, if you have the technology, crank up some records this weekend! Then we can all look forward to the next major holiday: National Video Games Day!
Picture the scene: I’m sitting at my computer desk early on a Thursday morning, listening to a collection of hit songs from my childhood. Out of nowhere (well, out of my computer speakers), Lipps, Inc. starts telling me I gotta move on. But move on … Continue reading Cañon City, Colorado (Spring 2013)
Recently the airbag warning light in my car turned on. I tried the old standard fix (putting black tape over the light) but with my Parkinson’s tremors, this turned out to be more trouble than it was worth. As an aside, I’m talking about the … Continue reading Airbag Warning Light
The day after my downtown Denver excursion with my then NEW CAMERA, I switched from urban scenes to Colorado’s natural beauty. Specifically, I hiked the Trading Post Trail at Red Rocks Park. This park is located in the foothills west of Denver, next to the … Continue reading Red Rocks Park (April 28, 2013)
WARNING: This post contains frank descriptions of diarrhea. Do not read while eating applesauce.
Last week, I mentioned the possibility of increasing my mannitol dosage from one tablespoon to two, hoping it would clear up my constipation. Well I tried it, and it worked too well. First I experienced (I believe this is the formal medical term) an assplosion. This was followed by a few hours of general gut rumblings, punctuated by periodic buttspit (another technical medical term). The Great Cornholio describes the overall experience (in decidedly NON-medical terms) here.
In hopes of finding a happy medium, I tried taking 1.5 tablespoons of mannitol the next day. While I did not experience the initial assplosion, I still had a few hours of general gut rumblings, punctuated by periodic buttspit. So now I’m taking 1.25 tablespoons, all at once, with my first medication of each day (typically at 6:00 AM). So far, this seems to be the happy medium. But there’s still more buttspit than I’d like.
Voyages with Parkinson's 