Copyright 2003 by Cedric Williams

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. Mostly it was the best of times. Until the goats revolted. Then it was the worst of times.

Our itelligence was flawed. Mankind, as a whole, believed that the only potential threat to man’s superiority was the three-toed sloth. We were wrong. But it’s not like we could have seen it coming. After all, the goats themselves hadn’t planned it. It just sort of…happened. One day, out of nowhere, the thought occurred to them – ALL of them, at the same moment – that they wanted more. They wanted it all. And they knew how to get it.

The initial onslaught was the most horrific event the universe had ever hosted. Hundreds of millions of humans were gored, often to a literal pulp. Massive herds of children were rounded up and driven over cliffs. The elderly and the disabled were trampled into oblivion. Rivers ran red. Except the Yellow River. It ran orange.

Over the next few months, the goats hunted down and exterminated all the remaining humans in the world. Of course, this was made easier by the fact that they had taken over the armories on the third day. Through the stinking hot depths of the Canadian jungle, they pursued us. Across the Antarctic wasteland, they chased. In labyrinthine cave systems in Afghanistan, they hunted. Until finally, they had done it. They had killed us all. Then they laughed. “Baa haa haa haa!” they said. They even pronounced the exclamation point. And at that point, goats ruled the world.

(continued)