© 2023 by Cedric Williams

Twenty-eight people, most of them small children, are missing and feared dead after the operator of the carousel they were riding inadvertently scattered them across the space-time continuum. According to one witness, the ride “started off normally. It was just the horses going up and down in circles, y’know? Then things just went ape shit.” In light of that pointless interview, we decided to inquire with other witnesses until we found one who could actually provide a somewhat useful description of the incident.

“My boyfriend and I had just picked up a super-sized order of Frantic Frank’s Funky Fresh French Fries and we sat down across the square from the carousel to eat ’em,” said another witness, who asked that we identify her only as Petunia. “Then the carousel suddenly started spinning WAY too fast. Kids were trying desperately to hold on, but it was no use. Kids went flying off the ride in all directions. And then there was a flash of light – and it was gone. The whole carousel, including the airborne children, just vanished.”

Park officials said it appeared the ride’s operator had accidentally engaged the carousel’s warp drive. We tracked down the operator for this exclusive interview:

“It’s not my fault, man,” said carousel operator, Axl Vicious. “The maintenance guys told me the warp core was offline! I just wanted to see what the warp button would do if I pushed it while it was disarmed. Y’see, because I get to push the other buttons every day, but I’ve always been told not to push the blue button. Every day, I’m drawn towards the enchantingly beautiful, yet forbidden blue button. And this was my CHANCE, man! I didn’t think anything would happen!”

First responders advised they would begin rescue efforts as soon as “we find a way to figure out where the Hell [the victims] went,” but that it may be “a few hundred years” before technology becomes available to detect, much less track, the carousel’s warp signature.