And now, once again, it’s time for…

Excerpts from Novels that Never Existed! NOTE: The excerpts below, and the non-existent novels from which they are taken, are all © 2023 by Cedric Williams

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Dr. Yobbo devoured all seven of the seven-layer burritos, thus creating 49 layers of food in his gullet. Then, he began to carefully digest them, one layer at a time.

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“Ow, dammit,” mumbled Milton. He gingerly extracted the contents of his mouth.

“What the Hell?” he continued. “There’s a beak in my chicken nuggets!”

“You think that’s bad?” replied Bradley, “There’s an RPG in mine!”

<explosion> <death>

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I woke up this morning to the sound of nearby whinnying. I got up and looked in the bathroom mirror. Sure enough: There was a horse stuck in my ear again.

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When I arrived unannounced, my Uncle Aqueous was wearing nothing but his drawers. Naturally, he excused himself and left the room. A few minutes later, he returned wearing nothing but his cupboards.

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