© 2024 by Cedric Williams

I just came up with a way to improve the NFL.  During an onside kick, once the ball has traveled the required 10 yards, it should explode.  Not just pop, as if it had been overinflated, but actually have a stick of TNT in the thing.  The winner of the onside kick would be the team that comes up with the biggest piece of the ball (by weight, not volume).

---

Y’all should know this: Kangaroos are not good prostitutes. Nor are porcupines, hedgehogs, or walking sticks. Walking sticks do, however, make good accordion players.

---

I know most people don't talk to their vacuum cleaners, but as you already know...I am not most people.  So, while I was vacuuming cobwebs off a toy shark today, I actually said (out loud) to my vacuum cleaner:
"Suck my fish."

---

Fact: You can’t spell “discontinue” without “disco”.

---

I was reading through a list of medications recently, and I'm beginning to think the people who come up with drug names are the same people who come up with names for Japanese movie monsters. I'm pretty sure there was a movie called Godzilla vs Phenergan.

---