© 2025 by Cedric Williams Police have arrested a man claiming to be Oscar Mayer after he strolled through City Park, throwing bologna at random parkgoers. The rampage left one man dead, four people injured, and 24 “cheesed-off”. It all started around two o’clock this … Continue reading One Dead After Man Goes on Bologna-Throwing Spree
© 2024 by Cedric Williams A lot has been said over the last few decades about “participation trophies”. My feeling is that instead of trophies, the non-winners should be given trousers. These trousers would be called “Partici Pants” I’m tired of all these companies charging … Continue reading Another Headful of Random Thoughts From a Damn Weirdo
© 2024 by Cedric Williams I just came up with a way to improve the NFL. During an onside kick, once the ball has traveled the required 10 yards, it should explode. Not just pop, as if it had been overinflated, but actually have a … Continue reading Still More Random Thoughts From a Damn Weirdo
© 2024 by Cedric Williams “Butterflies!” she exclaimed with delight as he entered the garden. “It most certainly does not!” he retorted, thinking himself quite clever. But as he turned to face her, he was immediately struck in the jaw by a flying stick of … Continue reading A Most Unusual Romance
And now, once again, it’s time for… Excerpts from Novels that Never Existed! NOTE: The excerpts below, and the non-existent novels from which they are taken, are all © 2023 by Cedric Williams Dr. Yobbo devoured all seven of the seven-layer burritos, thus creating 49 … Continue reading Even More Excerpts from Novels that Never Existed
© 2023 by Cedric Williams If you’re screwed, glued, and tattooed…and you come unglued…then you’ve just solved one of your three problems. Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I’d go berserk? Well, I … Continue reading Even More Random Thoughts From a Damn Weirdo
© 2023 by Cedric Williams Twenty-eight people, most of them small children, are missing and feared dead after the operator of the carousel they were riding inadvertently scattered them across the space-time continuum. According to one witness, the ride “started off normally. It was just … Continue reading Dozens feared dead in Cedar Flags mishap
© 2023 by Cedric Williams (for part A of this story, click here) Nineteen hours later, the Earl was face down on an operating table, having been rendered unconscious by a blow to the head with a cartoon mallet. Dr. Bittnov and his surgical team … Continue reading Short Story Number Two, Part C
New fiction (© 2023 by Cedric Williams) : (for part A of this story, click here) Clayton D’Artagnan Bilgewater VII, more formally known as the Duke of Spackle, was the Earl of Ductwork’s dearest friend. In fact, they were practically brothers, having both been raised … Continue reading Short Story Number Two, Part B
Enjoy some new fiction (© 2023 by Cedric Williams) : “The trouble with employing peasants as midwives is they allow themselves to become emotionally invested,” stated the Earl. Reginald Bartholomew Sasquatch III, more formally known as the Earl of Ductwork, was lounging on one of … Continue reading Short Story Number Two, part A
Voyages with Parkinson's 