Category: Fiction

New Year’s Resolutions

It’s that time of year again! The time when people say to themselves, “DAMMIT, I suck! What, O what can I do to make myself less sucky in the upcoming year?” So, in the spirit of the season, I hereby resolve that in 2022 I will:

Endeavor to become more Muppet-like.

Begin brushing my dog at least once a week.

Legally change my name to “Cedric D’Artagnan DAMMIT!”

Begin brushing my toilets at least once a week.

Learn a new language. Yes, I mean a NEW language – one that won’t exist until I start learning it.

Begin brushing my teeth at least once a week.

Meet someone named “Larry”.

Begin brushing my colon at least once a week.

Write a self-help book for the illiterate.

Lick people.

Become omnipresent.

GOCOVRI: It begins

A few weeks ago, I started a new Parkinson’s medication called GoCovri. This is in addition to (not a replacement for) the two other Parkinson’s meds that I’m already on. It’s supposed to reduce my “off” periods. Initially, it seemed like it was working quite well. I was feeling more awake and productive than I had felt in quite awhile. But it seems less consistent now, and I am also experiencing a nagging anxiety, which has led to me taking anti-anxiety meds far more often than in the past. I’ll probably try to wean myself off the GoCovri over the next couple weeks, to try to gain a clearer picture of the effects it’s really having (both good and bad). In the meantime, here’s some impromptu fiction:

My dog writes poetry. Some of it is serious stuff, but he mostly writes ribald limericks. Like the one about the young woman from Nantucket and her encounter with Lord Yuck. Mind you, these poems don’t adhere to classic limerick form. Many of them are 900 lines long and have no rhymes whatsoever. But, y’know, he’s a dog. What the Hell do you expect?