Category: Parkinson’s Disease

Speech! Speech! Speech!

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A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was getting a referral to work with a speech pathologist. Now that I’ve had a few sessions with the nice speech lady, I’d like to let y’all in on the process.

Since the problem this time is with my vocal chords and not my pronunciation, the sessions are not just practice talking, as I had assumed. Nope, it’s singing. Not even lyrics. I just open up and say ahhh, but at varying pitches. It kind of reminds me of my favorite part of the Iron Maiden song, “Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter”. Which is funny because you’d think it would remind me of the Poison album, Open Up and Say Ahhh! But clearly it doesn’t.

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So I’m supposed to practice singing these various drawn-out notes to keep my vocal chords loose, and I’m supposed to read several short sentences aloud to practice speaking from the diaphragm. Bear is used to ignoring my talking / singing around the house, so he was only mildly interested in these new vocalizations. I might try changing some of the ahhh’s and eeee’s to oooh’s, to see if I can get him howling. Oh, and by the way, the nice speech lady says I’m doing great – and I agree. I definitely sound better than I did a couple months ago.

Random Observation: You can’t spell hospitality without spit!

Mannitol vs. Constipation

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WARNING: This post contains frank descriptions of diarrhea. Do not read while eating applesauce.

Last week, I mentioned the possibility of increasing my mannitol dosage from one tablespoon to two, hoping it would clear up my constipation. Well I tried it, and it worked too well. First I experienced (I believe this is the formal medical term) an assplosion. This was followed by a few hours of general gut rumblings, punctuated by periodic buttspit (another technical medical term). The Great Cornholio describes the overall experience (in decidedly NON-medical terms) here.

In hopes of finding a happy medium, I tried taking 1.5 tablespoons of mannitol the next day. While I did not experience the initial assplosion, I still had a few hours of general gut rumblings, punctuated by periodic buttspit. So now I’m taking 1.25 tablespoons, all at once, with my first medication of each day (typically at 6:00 AM). So far, this seems to be the happy medium. But there’s still more buttspit than I’d like.

Constipation

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WARNING: This post contains frank descriptions of poop. Do not read while eating chocolates.

Way back in November of last year, I wrote about mannitol, saying I recommend taking it “in small doses throughout the day rather than all at once.” This was because it had a strong laxative effect when I took a full day’s worth all at once, and at that time, I had no need for laxatives. But things change.

Several months ago, I rather suddenly started to experience constipation. I don’t remember exactly when, so I don’t know exactly why. It could be caused by my Parkinson’s Disease (PD) or it could be a side effect of either of the medications that I’ve started taking over the last several months. The first of these new medications is GoCovri, which has greatly reduced the fatigue and depression that my PD was causing. I also started taking Mirtazapine, which has helped to quash my insomnia. The fatigue and insomnia were my two least favorite symptoms of PD, so I’m not willing to stop taking GoCovri or Mirtazapine just to determine which (if either) of them is causing the constipation. It occurs to me now that I should be keeping a log of when I start or stop taking any medication, and when symptoms appear or disappear, or suddenly become worse.

Regardless of what’s causing it, this constipation thing is all new to me. I’ve always been at the other end of the spectrum – trending towards “soft stool” with relatively frequent diarrhea. I’ve never been one to flush more than once per “sitting”. But these constipation poops have been so huge and solid that they’ve actually clogged three different toilets (both of the toilets in my home, and one hotel room toilet). So now I flush after every second or third “plop” to make sure the crap doesn’t coagulate and leave me up Shit Creek (which would be a great name for a housing development).

For whatever reason, it wasn’t until just the last couple of weeks or so that I realized I could put mannitol to good use against my own constipation. So now I’m taking all my mannitol (one tablespoon) first thing in the morning. Most days, it seems to help. Other days, not so much. I’m thinking I’ll increase it to two tablespoons, and if that doesn’t do it, then I’ll ask my PD specialist about Over-The-Counter laxatives.

Aw, crap!

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This post is dedicated to all the Parkinson’s Disease patients who have to deal with constipation. It is also EXTREMELY juvenile. You have been warned.

I’m going to start a band called The Shittles. Our most poopular songs will include:

Feces Can’t Buy Me Love

Sgt. Pooper’s Smelly Farts Club Band

Magical Mystery Turd

The Poo on the Hill

All You Need is Fiber

Revolution # 2

Blackbird (Stop Pooping on my Windshield, ya Flyin’ Asshole)

Stink for Yourself

The Long and Winding Stool Sample

I Dig a Privy

She Came in Through the Bathroom Window (While I was Trying to Poop)

Dear Poodence

Glass Onion

Happiness is an Empty Bowel

Free Speech For The Dumb

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When I was a mere toddler (not to be mistaken with a mare toddler, which would be a horse), I lived in Japan for about a year and a half. Living there while I was at the age when children develop language / speaking skills, I basically learned Japanese at the same time I learned English. I was as bilingual as a toddler can be, and often served as a translator for my parents, who only speak English. Fast forward a few years…I’m in 1st Grade…in Hastings, Nebraska. My speech (of course) seems completely normal to me, like any other Nebraska kid my age, but my teacher and my classmates notice something a little…off. The only language I speak in school is English…but apparently I speak it with a Japanese accent. So a decision is made that I need to work with a speech therapist. So, once a week for I don’t remember how long, I got to leave class to go practice talkin’ right. And that thar speech therapist gots me to talkin’ real good.

Fast forward a helluva lotta years…to the present. Ever since I got back from my South Carolina trip a little over a month ago, I’ve been experiencing voice problems. I’ll open my mouth and start articulating the necessary moving parts, but no sound comes out. There is only wind; it seems like my vocal chords just don’t engage. So far all I have to do is try again with more force (i.e., speak at an inappropriately loud volume), and then the words come out fine. But each time it happens, I am reminded of an interview I saw many years ago on 60 Minutes. They were interviewing Mohammed Ali, and I couldn’t make out a word that he said. Then I’ll remember that I’ve known at least two Parkies who had severe vocal issues shortly before dying. So when I went in to see my Parkinson’s specialist last week, I told him about the voice problems I’ve been having. He recommended I work with a speech therapist. So, once a week for I don’t remember how long, I will drop what I’m doing and practice talkin’ right. I have come full circle.